I Made You Something Special [Again]
I wove cotton around until the loom turned into a rainbow
The clouds only opened to place a waterfall in the sky
I’m hiding just beyond the steel post so I don’t get caught
Perhaps fluency in Pig Latin would increase my cover
So there were planes, trains, and automobiles
And she only wanted to walk the circumference of the earth
The [dis]fluencies embedded in the translation of my whisper
Is all you have to rely on
You always remind me that I already know how you feel
Of course I do
And of course you know I cannot take a joke
If you’ll come jump rope, I promise I’ll smile just for you
You played our song on instruments which remain [un]invented
I spent all night attempting to construct choreography to match your music
And you keep reminding me to take joys in the simple things
I only wanted to make you happy; you say I already do
I wore myself out trying to keep up with you
And you only wanted me to sit still
Never have I been truly loved
Excuse me for taking so long to adjust
Instead of knitting you another scarf that you won’t ever need
Or writing round myself in circles
I’ll have to do my best to just breathe and accept your love
I love you, too
My Illusion
I watched her push herself, over achieving all the while,
Observed the world: her audience in admiration.
Her hair grew long and she painted her nails,
She wore a suit, cleaned and pressed, as she won her titles.
It was in one of these suits that she met him, her love,
He appeared perfection, the answer to her prayers.
Dashing, talented, fun, with fulfilling words to spare,
He called, they spoke, and he claimed he loved her.
She was elated, but he was miles and miles away,
With love only for him, she made her plans.
One day, he stopped calling, and she restrained herself,
She thought she had everything she wanted, needed.
The world agreed that she was admirable, strong,
Twice raped, innumerably betrayed and neglected.
She showed no sign of the weakness that she hated herself for,
Just the gashes, fresh and deep, self-imposed for tears.
When she boarded that bus, with hope anew…he called,
She knew that he loved her, wanted her, and needed her.
He was even on time to pick her up, and then showed her off,
She let him undress her that first night, knowing it was wrong.
All day, after the morn, she waited for him to return,
Though he was there in body, he could not have been farther away.
I almost feel sorry for her, this perfect, perfect girl,
Then I realize how well I know her, and I despise her instead.
That “perfect,” stupid girl is me.
Our Moments
I have no greater desire than to stop time in this moment.
We’ve been to the Santa Monica Pier.
The highs and lows of the carnival.
The ardor of your touch bends me to your will.
Each moment builds me up.
With limbs entwined, we make beautiful music.
The warmth of your skin against mine fills me with hope.
We’ve been skiing in Big Bear.
The zig zag down the mountain, avoiding the trees.
You spark a fire in me, previously untouched.
The paint of your passion fills my empty canvas.
You stretch my intellect; teach me and I’ll learn.
I bare your mark with pride, traveling through life.
An abstract world of love, you make my reality.
Depth of your gaze touches my complex self.
I long for you every moment you leave my side.
We’ve been to the soda shop in Julian.
Sipping thick mint chip malts and eating apple pie.
Within our moments together…
You weave a web around my heart.
The strength and warmth of your embrace keeps me safe.
Wrap me in your arms, lay me down, let us stay forever.
I am absolutely taken, swept away by your intensity.
My heart is softened by the tenderness of your gaze.
You see inside of me, you caress my very soul.
There is no one I would rather touch, see, taste…
No one can fulfill me like you do, with your simple grin.
Your sideways glance falls upon me for a moment.
We’ve been to Disneyland.
Walked miles just to stand still, waiting for Big Thunder Railroad.
Everything is fine.
It is all worth it.
You are my motivation.
Thoughts of you propel me through the day.
Your company is everything to me.
I have no greater desire; no greater need.
If I’m not in love, I’m soon to be, I know.